I glanced through my emails again. The one from the vice
principal reminds me of the trials of middle school. My oldest daughter is
forging her path. It doesn’t help that it’s her very first year in public
school. She’s actually holding her own, in the classroom. But, I am finding my
head shaking over and over. What is up with these boys?
She tells me her daily account of the interactions she has
with that strange species of preteen/newbie teen boy. It’s a running account
that has no stop or pause button from the time she gets home until she slips
into bed (unless she’s singing, of course). And I am flummoxed. (Isn’t that a
great word. Sounds like it’s straight out of Dr. Seuss.)
Oh this boy asked me out. And this boy asked me out. This
boy was too shy so his friend did it for him. That boy sent me a note in class.
Another boy wanted me to wear his jersey, his friend didn’t have one, so he
asked me to wear his hat. (Eeeewwww?) We’ve
had two contacts with the administration when two separate boys refused to
respect her "no" for days on end.
And I want to know, what is going on? I ask her if she is
being singled out and if so why. She said the boys are swarming because she’s
the only one in her group that doesn’t have a boyfriend. This is middle school?
Sigh.
We went to plant trees as a service project about a year and
a half ago. They told us how you have to be careful not to place the stake too
close to the tree or the trunk will not grow to its full strength. It will be susceptible
to damage due to high winds and other stressers when it matures.
My daughter asked me about why we don’t want her to date. She
figures it’d be so much easier on her social life if she just had a “boyfriend”
to fight off the rest of the hungry wolves nipping her heels. And I reminded her
of that service project. I shared with her that her identity is in a key growing
stage. Friendships offer great support
and are extremely valuable. Romantic relationships, on the other hand, are like
the stake that is too close to the trunk. Her identity would not grow in
strength if she constantly looks to a boyfriend for affirmation and
acceptance.
I wish I was more convinced she got the lesson. But, I’m
thankful the Lord offered us that experience in the his good timing so that I would
feel confident when this trial crossed our path. Now, we just have to wait and see if she’ll
learn the lesson of the tree.
My kids are all still young- SO NOT looking forward to the boyfriend/girlfriend drama!
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you!
Yes, I am so right there with you! I have dreaded this season of life for awhile! But, isn't it wonderful how God puts little moments in our life to prepare us for those seasons? Thanks for dropping by!
Deleteits hard when the peer pressure is so strong. i'm thankful my kids have, at least to this point, been in school situations where the guy respected their "i'm not interested in dating, but i do want to have lots of good friends" decisions.
ReplyDeletejust prayed that that lesson of a staked tree sinks deep into your daughter's heart.
Yes, we have had a lot of discussions about how to say no and how if a boy doesn't respect that no, there needs to be appropriate consequences for him. It has been a challenging experience for her. I am so glad that your daughter has had boys respect her convictions. I pray she be protected from the wolves! Thank you for your prayer. And thank you for stopping by.
DeleteI wish I would have received this message 25 years ago! Good job! "Her children rise up and call her blessed" My guess is she will remember the lesson and the heart of her mother behind the lesson. Blessings, friend!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Yes, I too wish I would have been taught these things. It's amazing how God used such a simple moment that could have easily slipped past me and he made it part of the mortar that I hope will cement good things in her heart. Thanks for reading!
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