We are at it again, all 200+ of us. Writing our little hearts out for a brief moment on our Friday. We do only a tidbit of editing, then we're linking up at Lisa-Jo Baker's site (You gotta check it out even if you don't write. She has so many beautiful things to say). It's fun and crazy and deep and all that. What do you expect? We're women and it's Friday! So enjoy. Give it a try. And check out all the wonderful things people come up with. The prompt: Listen.[GO]
A world of sights, of pictures, of vision, of light and color… it’s my brain’s way of pressing meaning out of the doing that goes on around me and they have a name for it now.
I’m a visual learner, so they say.
So, I see my daughter’s face when she’s given over to anger and I see red and I see what’s right in front of me and my explosion happens because I couldn’t hear. I am deaf to her heart, I am deaf to my cruel words.
But scarred hands of love have stretched out and touched my ears somehow and now I find I am learning a new skill and it is making a slow difference as I catch on one day, one emotion at a time.
I am working hard at listening for her voice, her cry, her longing that hides behind all that commotion, all that bluster. And as I fine tune the dial on my heart I hear more clearly. She’s scared. She’s disappointed. She’s ashamed. She’s feeling like no one respects her voice.
And my heart softens and my soul opens. Comfort comes where it has been lacking so long.
We still flare up from time to time and the red anger and black rage still pour down over my eyes in the more difficult moments, but my ears are awakening and the sounds I listen for speak a whole new story. Our lives are being transformed by the listening.
[STOP]
Anger at my kids has been a real struggle for me. The Lord has been leading me through healing but it is a slow process getting there. I read a great blog on that yesterday by Lisa-Jo here When Your Temper Scares You and one of her resources was at this site The Orange Rhino which I found incredibly helpful because it had amazing down to earth things to say about getting that yelling under control. I instantly bonded with the Orange Rhino and will soon consider starting my own challenge.
Very good writing. I feel you. I often find myself calling out to the Lord to help me really hear my children and really see their need.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. :) I think most of us mother's struggle with yelling...we think we are heard better that way. I'll never understand why my brain thinks that way; it's just not true. :S
I too have fallen for that lie that we'll be heard better yelling. I think that came because when I was little, I was never heard. Yelling didn't get me heard, it just felt good. Hard habit to break. But, I'm gonna do it! Thank you so much for stopping by!
ReplyDelete